A Surprise Gift

For about a month already, I have been struggling with my prayer life and relationship with Him. It came to a point that I felt that nothing was happening to what I was praying for. Yes, i go to church because I know that that's the right thing to do but there's just a part of me that didn't feel like it.

During the past 2 weeks I have been sick with bronchitis and have been on and off with several antibiotics. Some even cost me P300 each. With the little time I had spent praying to Him, I seldom tried to open my Bible or even took the time to listen to what He was trying to tell me. Instead, I would ask Him to provide financial help for my medicines and that was it. At the back of my mind, all what was important to me was for Him to provide for me.

Guess what? He did. And He did even way more enough than what i was asking for. 

Lesson learned? That whatever happens in my life, regardless of whatever I do for Him or not, He will not stop showering me with favor and blessings because His love for me is unconditional and He will always be faithful.

A Life Filled With Love

Most of the time when somebody has hurt me, I often say that I have forgiven the person but in fact when I try to really look inside my heart, my heart is full of anger and disappointment. Usually, pride gets in the way as I really try my very best to prove I am right. I would often have this imaginary "tally board" in my head and literally count the number of times the person who has hurt me apologize and the number of times i lowered my pride just so to say that I made the first move in apologizing. Sometimes, it gives me the "ha! i'm the winner!" feeling but then I came to learn that it does not matter if the other person does not say sorry to me. It does not matter if most people would say that I shouldn't have said sorry first because it was not my fault. It does not matter who apologized first. It does not matter whoever the "winner" in the argument is. What matters is what's inside my heart - UNCONDITIONAL LOVE - to love without expecting anything back in return, SACRIFICIAL SERVICE - considering the needs of others instead of my own and COMPLETE FORGIVENESS - forgiving wholeheartedly.

Number My Days

I was suffering from the "someday" syndrome - always waiting for someday that my finances can improve, that someday when my life improves I can begin to live the life I've always dreamed of, that someday when I get the chance, I can finally do the things that I have been putting off for some other day BUT I learned that SOMEDAY may NEVER arrive. I learned to live with a PURPOSE, to live with PASSION, to live with WISDOM and to live with FAITH.

Is It Difficult To Follow Him?

This was a question that struck me about a week ago. Thinking more and more, I began to realize that the answer for me to the question above was a yes. Many times in my life I have always decided to go for my happiness. The saying “kung san ka masaya, eh di dun ka.” was more likely my motto. Sometimes (or most of the time), what He wants me to do is simple yet I still drag myself to the wrong path and resist going to the right one thinking that I know it makes me happy and that this is where He wants me to be. But I learned that that shouldn't be the case. The "driver" of my life should be Him alone and not me trying to steal the wheel from Him. It’s difficult for me to understand and even more difficult to surrender everything to Him. (I thought I did!) But then He knows that I am still keeping something behind my back that is still hard for me to let go. Many times I also try to deny what He is trying to tell me and make excuses just for me to hold to it longer. I need to learn to let go.

Yes, it’s really hard to follow Him especially when things don’t go my way and when all I can think about are my heart’s desires. BUT completely surrendering to Him, obeying and trusting His will with no strings attached and desiring more of Him than His blessings means having His best in every aspect of my life.